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Thoughts needed, not fun ...

wild.joz

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
1,934
I hesitated for two days to post it here, as it might not be appropriate but... If we really are a community, I guess we must share the good and the bad too.

Last Thursday morning, at 11:30am, my father, at 77 years old, finally lost his 23 months battle against an oesophagus cancer. He's been fighting without ever complaining once, just like he led his whole life. Never a complaint whatever the situation was. He was buried Saturday morning.

My family is Christian, but we are not really the praying or going to church type, although we had a ceremony for my father. I'm saying that because I'm not asking for prayers, although they are welcome, but just a simple thought.

My father was the best loving husband, and he waited that my mother and him could have their 53rd wedding anniversary, the day before his last breath.
He was the best loving father for my two sisters and I, and sacrificed all his life to be sure we never were in need of anything. He was the hardest working man I knew, and the most passionate with what he did.

We're all devastated, and I'm going throught what possibly is the hardest time in my life. It is simply unbearable, but I know time will help.
I'm happy I could visit him almost everyday since he was sick, and that he could look me straight in the eyes and kiss me, the night before his passing. I'm happy I could help him and my mother go throught this.

So, to all the forum brothers and sisters, if you can, please have a simple thought for my family, to help us overcome the sorrow, and keep moving forward. The hardest part is yet to come I believe. Re-learning to live, without our father and husband, and never hearing his voice again. I'm sure the more people think about him, the more his memory will stay with us.

May he finally rest in peace, wherever he could be.

I love you dad.
 

lpnv59

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Jul 15, 2001
Messages
10,725
Most of us go thru this very tough time you and your family are having at this time. We lost our dad 5 years ago December 14, 2007. You grieve his passing. And over time, even though you never really lose all the sadness and feelings of loss, most of that sadness does goes away. But the loss never does, at least for me it never did. You'll still love him as always and think of him often. But it'll be good somehow.
 

RevPearly

Active member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
1,137
It sounds like your father was a wonderful man who put his family first. It was good that you could spend time and be with him during those tough last days. My father died from lung cancer just before Christmas in 2009 and even though I spent time with him it has been hard to turn loose. It is true that time helps to heal the loss: I seem to do better at the holidays by remembering the good times we had and the love he had for my family. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family during these tough days.
 

Cogswell

The Duke of Dumbassery
Joined
Mar 19, 2002
Messages
15,717
I think any man should be happy to have those few short paragraphs said about him at the end of his life. God bless you.
 

Dan Silverman

New member
Joined
Jun 20, 2011
Messages
394
winered, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your dad accomplished his mission here on this earth. I can't think of a higher complement.
 

Heritage 80

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2002
Messages
7,000
My sincere condolences and thoughts out to you and your family. I lost my father not too long before christmas 16 years ago. Like lpnv59 put so well:

"And over time, even though you never really lose all the sadness and feelings of loss, most of that sadness does goes away. But the loss never does, at least for me it never did."

I couldnt say it any better. My biggest regret is that he passed before my two wonderful children were born, and I know how much joy they would have brought each other.

Hang in there, grieve, talk with friends and family, and slowly the sadness will soften.

Peace,
H80
 

Triburst

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 12, 2006
Messages
4,353
I'm sorry that this happened during what is normally such a happy time of year. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

DoubleBoogie

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Jun 6, 2004
Messages
4,800
You have my deepest sympathies and heart felt prayers winered. I lost my father at age 70 to kidney cancer on Good Friday of 1999. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think of him. My Dad sounds very similar to yours. Hang in there my friend. I know what you are going through.
 

Mark Kane

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Jul 18, 2001
Messages
5,742
My sympathies. I lost my Dad at 78 and you could have been describing him with your post. It's hard and there's no way around it but you get through it.
 

MikeSlub

Administrator
Joined
Jul 15, 2001
Messages
15,166
Winered, it is hard, but you have to believe that Dad's soul is in a better place, and that his spirit will live on with you and your family through your fond memories.

I lost my mother this summer, and while she had a chronic heart condition for many years, she went downhill rapidly and unexpectedly within a period of 10 days. My dad, 84 yrs. old, lost his partner of 61 years. He is doing okay, and has a lot of support from family and friends, but the loneliness is huge. I have to say that, even though I have solace in knowing that my mom didn't suffer, calling home and not hearing my mom's voice answering the phone is still very tough. She was the best.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

wild.joz

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
1,934
Thank you all for your very kind and warming words.
I know you do not know me and vice versa, but it is very touching to read these lines.

Today it's my mothers 73rd birthday, and I can only hope I'll be able to support and help her for many years to come.

Christmas season will forever be different.

Thank you all again for the comforting words.

Jose.
 

j45

Active member
Joined
Jun 14, 2002
Messages
9,081
The OP is an amazing eulogy in itself. You are blessed to have had a father to feel this way about. I lost mine 15 years ago, my best friend, I miss him now as much as ever but like you I can look back on how blessed I was to have had a great father who was always there when I needed him. I wouldn't know what to say to help at this moment but I can tell you that it will give you great joy to look back and reflect on so many good times and what he meant to you for years to come. Not a day goes by that something doesn't remind me of my dad and gives me a chance to enjoy those memories....and that's a good thing. As much as I miss him, I do get great peace from that. You are very fortumate and have much to be thankful for.
 

Seoighs

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Sep 17, 2006
Messages
5,264
'Best thoughts with you....and your Dad. He knows how much you love him.

This really is a community. It is closer than many physical ones. Thanks for showing us the honour of sharing such sad news with your forum brothers.
 

wild.joz

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
1,934
Thank you Black58, Kerry and Seoighs for the kind words.
I can hardly believe it's been a week already...
 

tjsmith76

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
222
So sorry for your loss! Im not sure how, and im sure for you right now its hard to believe, but i does get easier somehow! Maybe its not easier, and its just that we learn different ways to cope with it!

Hard to believe that in Feb. itll be 12 years since my dad passed! the doctors told him he had type 2 diabetes, and then a month later they changed the diagnosis to cancer and the in another 2 months he was gone! He never lived to meet any of my kids, which i think is the hardest part for me because i know he would have worshipped them. Come to think of it, my first son was born almost 1 year to the day after he died. my son was born on the 12th and Dad had passed on the 13th a year before.

He taught me how to play guitar, and every time i pick one up I think of him. The greatest lesson he ever taught me musically was to "use your ears" and to this day I thank him. Might seem silly but since music has become such a huge part of my life, so has those 3 little words!

Peace to you bud, and keep your chin up and wear a smile for your dad, as Im sure he would want it that way!! :jim
 

BluesForDan

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Aug 31, 2002
Messages
6,798
My condolences on the passing of your dad. Mine also passed from esophageal cancer at 77, two weeks before their 53rd anniversary in October 2006.
 

bluesforstevie

New member
Joined
Jun 20, 2002
Messages
12,771
My most heartfelt condolences and prayers. Don't hesitate to seek out loved ones and friends to give you strength and support. Your dad is in a better place now. Though he's physically gone, his soul and spirit lives on through you...and you'll come to find that out...in something you say...that your father used to say, in the way you laugh, others will see him through you....little things and situations will remind you of him and you will know he is still with you. I envy your relationship with your father.

My father and I didn't get along very well. Whenever I hear the song "In the living years"....it still brings tears to my eyes.

God bless you bro.
 
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